Run Forrest RUN!!!

Running. I’ve always been really good at it. I mean I’ve got these legs that go on forever and ever and ever. In all honesty I never thought I would ever enjoy running. I have an aversion to working out… at least I did in the beginning. The first time I really started running was my freshman year. That was a hard year. My best friend Heike was a CHS and I felt completely alone. All my old friends had new friends. These new friends weren’t so nice. I started running for track. Initially it was a way to feel like I did have a place still at school. A turn for the worst made it something more. A boy (when aren’t men the root of my problems? I mean seriously everything bad starts with men! Menstrual Menopause Menace Mental… See what I’m saying? Ridiculous) Anyways a boy came into the picture and completely threw me off balance. Texting in class and late nights on the phone. Everything I did began to revolve around him. I needed his approval. He was after all a senior and he went to Alta. Therefore he was cooler than little old freshman me at the private school. I was smitten and would do just about anything he asked me too… just about. I finally came to my senses and said no to one thing. And with that he was off. He didn’t want a prude little freshman who wanted to wait. I was devastated. Why did no body want me anymore? Why were my friends off with these new kids? Why weren’t my friends standing up for me when they said mean things? Why wasn’t I good enough for a silly boy? Why did that one thing matter so much to him? I’ll probably never get the answers to these questions but, this is when track practice became something more. Exhaustion. I would work myself until I was dead. When you are that tired you don’t have to think. You cant think. There is not enough energy left in your body to generate a thought about anything. Especially stupid boys and lame friends. But sadly this could not last. I have found that the body is an amazing thing and can adapt. Soon I could run through practice and barely be tired. So I started running when I got home. I started just running down the hill then back home. Then it was down the hill and down the frontage road. Then it was down the hill, down the frontage road, and up the sand trail to Adams canyon then home. Then down the hill down the frontage road up the trail to Adams canyon along the shore line trail then down the trail through my neighborhood home. Every. Single. Day. Sadly again my body adapted, but here’s the great thing: you adapt. Soon running began to bring me clarity. I love that feeling you get while you’re running. At first you feel sooooo crumby. You don’t want to do you don’t like the feeling, but if you stick with it long enough, you go numb. Suddenly you cant feel your legs or how hard it is to breath. You feel like you are flying. Nerdy analogy but when you don’t feel your legs you don’t feel like you are touching the ground ergo flying. The endorphins are pumping through your body at this point and suddenly things start making sense. I started seeing things a little less emotionally. I started to realize I was really the one in control in the situation. I’m the one who said no. Why would I want some scum bucket in my life anyways? Why would I want crappy friends in my life either? Especially if they didn’t have my back? I went through another phase of this my senior year. Again shitty boy and friends. This time I didn’t just run. I found the Swenson gym J oh my sanctuary. Run 1,2,3 miles then hop on a machine work my core or my arms or my legs. Id just cycle through all of the machines I knew how to work. Eventually I’d muster up enough courage to ask a cute college guy how to work this machine or that one. I was hooked. I loved that feeling. Sadly modeling changed the way I worked out. Suddenly machines were a no-no. That creates bulk we don’t want bulk we want slim models. Suddenly my days were Yoga in the morning Pilates at lunch and either yoga AND Pilates after dinner or my hundred dollar an hour trainer (who was a dick might I add I mean I forking over two hundred bucks every time I see you, you could at least make it an enjoyable experience and not rag on me like coach joy did in jr high p.e. just saying) that killed my love of working out. Mind you I totally do love yoga but not as a method of working out. It’s more like stretching mixed with meditation. Pilates sucks ass but it totally gets results.  So here’s my thought process when you take something I love force me to do it all day everyday soon enough I will hate it and never want to do it ever again. Well maybe not ever. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m running again. Which is good and bad. I’m at a point in my life where I need the exercise but it also feels so great to get out there and center myself and find that clarity I so badly need. I’ve been through a lot lately and knowing that I can escape and take my dog to a park and just run off every little bad thing that’s running through my head at least for a little while is the greatest thing I could ask for 

J just thought you should know 

xo

<3

K